The Problem With Zingers - Randy Ingermanson

 https://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2024/08/13/the-problem-with-zingers/

 I have to say this person is onto something. 

 Several months ago I uninstalled all social apps and stopped going there entirely. I gradually started going back using a browser. I have now reinstalled the apps. 

 This is not backsliding as my behaviour has changed. I only engage (95% of the time) with sections of the site (e.g. subreddits) that are not concerned with squabbling. I comment when I can help or amuse.  I don't engage in petty snark designed to ingratiate me with people who agree. I used to think "well, I am engaging with people whose beliefs I abhor so I can convince them of how wrong they are." 

Now, I see the absurdity of that. Of course, they are thinking the same thing of me. 

Instead, I now focus on being a good person on and offline. I would never seek to embarrass someone in "real life" they way I had online. Or demand my elderly relative produce "sources" when they make a ridiculous claim over a turkey dinner. I might gently try to introduce my own viewpoint or carefully ask a question which exposes a huge hole in their reasoning but I wouldn't seek to upset them or prove I was right. 

The people on these forums often include edgy 14 year olds who have no real life experience, tortured contrarians who probably should be seeking treatment for mental health disorders, and retired and isolated people scared about how the world is unrecognizable to them. None of these people deserve to be brow beaten and it only encourages them, anyway.

 So read that article and let it sink in, please. 

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